gifts from the divine

Cherish Every Day as Though it's Their Last...

2009-09-22T11:32:00.000-07:00

I will be taking a break - possibly permanent - from blogging. I'm reprioritizing everything and am not sure this falls anywhere near the top.

Licorice passed away suddenly, but very peacefully, on Saturday evening. We'll be having a private service for her Wednesday morning so send a prayer for her if it feels right to you.

Love and light.

Sewing Projects

2009-09-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

This morning I am off on our first 'big' vacation with Little B. We are going to the lovely town of Mt. Shasta to visit my sister (whom I haven't seen in two and a half years) and meet her little one who turns two in a week.

Before I depart I wanted to share a couple of little projects.

Weeks ago I was prompted to make these cloth balls. I really wanted Bronwyn to have a ball to explore with her hands and her mouth. Thus, the need for cloth and not plastic. While they don't bounce, they're so much fun. The papa found out that a little bounce with them on the forehead elicits a great deal of deep belly laughter.

I also was inspired to make a few gifts that were multi-functional. In this case, lavender rice pillows.

Not only can they heat the space where you lay your little one, they help to calm and soothe when placed nearby. Also, they can turn into doll pillows once little hands start getting interested in playing big.

I also really loved sewing the names freehand; it's a great confidence builder. The tricky part is making sure the lettering is in the middle, not too far up or down, or left or right. I still have work to do with this but am happy with how the cursive turned out.

I will have some more projects to share after the birthday presents get opened...the mountain life gets explored...two little cousins meet...and two sisters get to have some good time together!

Licorice, a.k.a. Louie, a.k.a. Dootie, a.k.a. Lu, a.k.a. Fluffmutt and the List Goes On...

2009-09-15T20:04:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all your thoughts for Licorice that were emailed and left in the comments. I believe she is going to be fine. Louie has never had any signs of any health issues related to what happened this week, so it was quite shocking. It was a grand mal seizure which can be caused by many different things.

My personal beliefs about dis-ease is that there is a reason for her to present these symptoms. She has definitely taken a step down from being the center of my attention since Little B was born. I believe that this is in part, why she had illness arrive. I also believe that pets absorb energy from their owners preventing them from getting ill (particularly with dogs 'holding' the cancer for their companion).

I've done some BodyTalk sessions on her (addressing a parasite in the brain and more) and also hired Katherine at Bay Area Body Talk to do a session. We're giving her lots of love and good energy towards health.

Dootie Dude is very dear to me and this made me remember and reexamine how precious and fleeting life can be. She has been at my side long before I've known most people in my life now. She is truly a companion like no other.

I am very grateful to have her enriching our lives and teaching me about love, acceptance, control, sensitivity and...

...Jedi mind tricks...the force is strong with this one.

Quotable Sunday

2009-09-13T14:24:00.000-07:00

Pray for what you cannot see.
Pray clearly
for what you can only faintly grasp.
Pray silently
from the core of your being.
Pray for healing.
Pray for humanity.

Pray lovingly
Pray deeply ---
pray so deeply that
the prayer and the praying
become one.

- Charlie Elkind from WorldPrayer.org

***

Please keep my dog, Licorice, who had a seizure yesterday, in your prayers. Thank you.

The Sinful Sweater

2009-09-10T19:11:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant, I came across this cute cardigan on Knitty, and I knew I had to make it for my little one.

Knowing how quickly babies grow out of clothes when they're newborn, I decided to make it the 6-12 month size.

Trouble is, sizing is tricky. Little B just turned seven months old and fits perfectly into a lot of 12 month clothes.

So, imagine my dismay when I tried it on her * just to see how it looked * to find that the sleeves were ALREADY too short. Her first time of wearing it, and it's too small. I mean, just look at this:

That's some serious wrist pudge peeking out. Bronwyn is definitely blessed with some long limbs.

I didn't stay frustrated for too long though. And this is why: she really wanted to hold this apple when I tried it on her.

Making references to biblical stories at such a young age already... Little B has a lot to teach us.

For you knitters out there, the pattern is here. Unfortunately, I lost the label so I can't tell you what yarn I used. For the locals, it was an organic cotton from Knitterly in Petaluma.

Quotable Sunday :: These are a Few of My Favorite Things...

2009-09-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

"When the dog barks, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad, I simply remember a few of my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad."

- Oscar Hammerstein II

Oh that Julie Andrews. She is definitely one of my favorite things.

I'm actually not feeling bad, but thought I would share a few of my favorite weekend things to do:

Eat yummy (and sometimes not so healthy) breakfast foods. One of my recent discoveries is Stuffed French Toast from The Joy of Cooking.

Bake! I baked another blueberry pie this weekend.

This one is vegan, and was MUCH harder to put together. The crust was crumbling apart and was not a joy to work with. The secret is...

...wax paper. (That is, rolling the dough between two pieces of wax paper.) I also used Earth Balance shortening which is healthier than Crisco, put probably also why it was harder to roll out, shape, etc. I will let you know how it tastes after tonight.

Which brings me to another favorite thing....eating with friends. Tonight we will see some dear friends who have two very beautiful babes.

Finally, bathing with my beauty. Oh how she enjoys her bath times in the tub. Yahoo!

What do you enjoy doing on the weekend?

***
For more Quotable Sunday visit the are so happy blog.

It's in My Genes

2009-09-02T19:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a little one, I remember my mom sewing and crafting all the time (well, at least when she wasn't antiquing). Each season she would be making something new. A bunny for Easter, a Santa Claus for Christmas, a quilt for our birthday, etc. She also spent a lot of time making clothes for us as well as our dolls. I don't mean simple outfits. I mean ruffles, layers, little flowers, little details everywhere...perfect clothes fit for only a princess.

So, it came as no surprise to hear that my mom is crafting something regularly now. During her non-work time she makes the fairies and mermaid you see here.

I think my two sisters and I were greatly influenced by this because we all craft now:

My oldest sister, Cindy, was the more artistic one when we were younger. Her drawings were amazing.

Which explains why the babies seen here, that she sells on E-bay, are so amazingly detailed yet SO small. How does she do it?

And check out these:

She also makes monkey and human baby reborns that are equally amazing.

My other sister Kim was the more bookish one of us all. Which explains why, when she first learned to quilt, she was quilting king-sized, appliqued quilts that same month (that's right folks, read it and weep...KING-SIZE)! She also taught herself to knit. A feat I never would have accomplished....talk about tenacity and patience.

I guess you could say, it's just in our DNA. The nurturing had a whole lot to do with it as well.

My mom just wrote this about her mom, my beloved and dearly missed, Grandma Thelma:

"I don't have the patience to quilt, it is sad I did not enjoy doing that like mom did. She would love the babies and fairies; she loved dolls. I think that is why we always had so many dolls and doll clothes. I still have a few Tammy clothes she made me; the coat is lined and has fur at the top with little pearl buttons. She wouldn't let me have Barbie and Ken because Barbie had big boobs."

I have very fond memories of Grandma Thelma having a quilting bee with her Mormon friends and everyone hand-quilting a gigantic quilt together.

***

With the holidays around the corner, it's a great time to buy your loved ones a doll, monkey or fairy. Check their store out here; their customer rating is 99.9% positive. Talk about customer satisfaction! Plus, I heard that Cindy is doing commission work if you have someone in mind...

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

Appreciate the Divine details that are woven into every second of your life.

- Caroline Myss

***

For a complete list of Quotable Sunday visit are so happy.

Off to the Coast You Go

2009-08-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

You escape West to get away from the ninety degree heat. Yet, sometimes, a trip to the beach doesn't turn out as planned. No, this is not great weather for mama to be in a nursing tank and shorts...only having prepared for colder weather for the little one.

No matter how snuggled or cuddled you are, the wind and fog still seem to creep in.

So, you change plans and head South, expecting nothing but a beautiful drive along the coast and into the woods.

But you get lucky, and the weather becomes spectacular.

You even manage to find the town of Bolinas... a hidden jewel as locals took down the official road signs to keep it to themselves.

And the day ends even more spectacular, seeing it through the eyes of a loved one...

...and another wee loved one.

No wonder why that girl is always smiling...

...you just look at her mama and papa, who are always smiling back at her.

Inspiration Overload

2009-08-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

I recently finished these legwarmies for my wee one who needs warm legs. I LOVE the way my color design came out. The pattern is here at Never Not Knitting, and I modified it a bit to have a different look. Trouble is, after all that work, they don't stay on her. Just a few wiggles, and boom. They're off. Hmph! What did I do wrong?

Right now, I have a "problem" that is this: I am inspired. Like way, way, way too much as of late. I have all these projects in my head, some just started, others temporarily abandoned. This includes books to read, classes to take, cakes to bake, outfits to sew, plants to trim, letters to write, etc. etc.

There is that little (very little, little), part of me that laments what comes with motherhood. I know, it's only temporary, this time I have while watching a little one double in size goes so quickly. Still, putting aside my desires isn't easy sometimes.

Since I don't have much time to craft now I plan on doing some retrospectives of past projects. Look for an upcoming week where I'll be featuring baby quilts I've done.

Meanwhile, one recent inspiration comes from Lily Boot's block-a-month blog. She makes these ridiculously awesome tiny quilts, and has given me permission to post a photo here.

I also asked her to do a tutorial of one (cross your fingers). I know a red-headed gal who would be very inspired by this, as well as many other crafty women.

What has inspired you lately?

***

UPDATE:
I asked the pattern designer, Alana, why she thought the legwarmies fell off and here is her response:

"I've found that the leg shape makes a difference in determining how well they will stay put. I used to put them over a pair of tights a lot for added warmth and I found that they stayed up well. Also you could run an elastic thread through the top ribbing and that will help too."

Also, I forgot to mention what yarn I used. Here you go: Cascade Cotton Rich DK in colors Del Rey and Lapis.

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

The day of your arrival

is tagged, like a present--

your name engraved upon it.

- Shani Mootoo

Teething Tribulations

2009-08-21T19:44:00.000-07:00

This past week has been incredibly challenging. I said goodbye to a loved one, screamed at a very small loved one, got so wrapped up in something that I missed the big picture called life, hardly slept for several nights running (teething tribulations), and now am sick.

I guess it is no surprise, to be sick after such a wearing week. Yet, as any mama knows, being sick with a little one who demands your all - when you're already worn down - is, well, shitty. Watching our backyard neighbors shoot off an air gun at the flock of crows in their tree pretty much topped off my week with the sour cherry. I refrained from asking if they were inbred. Let's just say, based on past behavior, the question would have been redundant.

I've been fantasizing about packing up and just getting out of dodge. But, what is dodge exactly? Wouldn't it just follow me around until I found the next town marked with a sign that said, "An Even Bigger Pile of Dodge :: Duh, what did you expect?"

Through all this, Little B is smiling and laughing still. Thank heavens for little girls.

***

This video was taken a few weeks ago when Bronwyn had just barely turned 6 months old.

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-16T20:15:00.000-07:00

“If you love something set it free; if it returns it's yours forever, if not it was never meant to be.”

- Proverb

***
In my heart will always live a yellow - abundantly loving, always present, smiling, warm, beautiful - Labrador called Martini. She has taught me so much, and this last lesson we learned together was the most difficult and challenging lesson I have ever learned.

I listened to god, to angels, to my heart, and to hers. Separating it all out, I was left with a line that will always connect me to her and her to me.

Your warm eyes, your soft tummy, your kissable nose, your special bunny hop, your tongue all over, everywhere all the time. But that smile. That is what always got me.

Tini, you are so beloved and special. I MISS you dearly. I love you. Always. And, forever.

On Being a Housewife

2009-08-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

There are certain days I love being a housewife. There are other days that I think, "Wow, this again!" But those days are more because it is a routine (which most jobs contain a lot of) and I am definitely a lover of variety and change. Either way, I am SO glad I have a choice to be a stay-at-home-mom.

The day that I made this blueberry pie for instance was pretty grand. I love expressing my creativity and challenging myself to do new things. This was the second pie I've made from scratch.
The crust was a cream cheese pastry crust, from the Joy of Cooking, and was incredibly yummy.

Diaper laundry day has a new dimensional zen to it. While not as pretty as Red Laundry Day, it was oh so satisfying to hang those wet diapers on the line and enter a contemplative space. Also, it feels good knowing that I'm making as minimal impact possible upon our mother earth.

Watching Little B on the swing for the first time, dressing her up in whimsical outfits that reflect her personality, and enjoying the world through her eyes.

These are the moments that I cherish, and look forward to more of.

Gifts to Celebrate ::

2009-08-11T12:17:00.000-07:00

:: Mama's new hair. Oh, how I thought long hair would be easier with a baby. Just pull it up and get it out of the way. Yet, I never really felt like me while it was getting longer and growing out. Plus, those little hands love to pull it, and not so gently. I feel like I'm getting a sense of self back and this haircut is one of the first steps in that direction. Here's more great dialog about hair issues as a mama.

:: The Co-Sleeper. We started a new sleep routine with our little one (which includes only using a cosleeper for naps and nighttime) and are establishing a good rhythm. Last night, Little B slept 12 hours and woke up only twice. The first time I was still awake....which means I only woke up ONCE in the middle of the night. I had six luscious hours of consecutive sleep. The pool of milk I slept in wasn't so fun but I SLEPT. Do any of you mamas have a tip on not leaking out a gallon of milk while you sleep?

:: Working out in the mornings. The current state of unemployment with my husband means I can try and release this extra 15 pounds I've had since six weeks postpartum! After two weeks of this, I'm starting to feel stronger and more centered in my body. I'm particularly enjoying the Lotte Berk Method which makes me sore and thus stronger.

:: Blog giveaways! I am so excited to be the happy new custodian of Sew Inspired's Mermaid Mini Quilt. Little B will love playing on this with all it's great shapes and colors. The quilting looks so fun too.

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

What is the heart?

It is not human, and it is not imaginary.

I call it you.

- Rumi

Blanket Doll Tutorial

2009-08-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

After reading about positive sleep associations, I decided to make a blanket doll for Little B (also known as a woobie or a lovey). I decided to make a tutorial out of this because: a) it is a project that is completely made from your own head and estimates (i.e. no pattern required), b) it can be made out of stuff you have around the house (provided you sew and have the basics on-hand), and finally, c) we can all use a project that can be started and completed in just a few hours.

To get started you'll need to find a pair of old tights or a t-shirt you can repurpose. I used one of my husband's worn t-shirts (out of the hundreds I had to choose from....ahem...). I then cut out a rectangle about 11" by 17".*

Fold your rectangle length-wise and sew it up, right sides facing each-other. You can also use a pair of tights or pantyhose, in which case you don't need to sew it together. Just cut off the top and bottom.

Sew up one end with thick thread or embroidery floss. This end is the top of the head and will be hidden by a hat, so feel free to make it nice, knotty and secure. Then, cut off the extra fabric above the top (about four inches worth).

Next, you will want to stuff the head with whatever filling you have. I had polyfill around so that's what I used. Make sure to pack it tight to make it washer friendly.

You can tie a rubber band around the bottom to help you sew up the bottom of the head.

However, I found it was easier to sew up without the rubber band in the way.

The next step is to cut out the top of the body. Mine was about 10" at the widest part and 11" long. As I mentioned before, I didn't use a pattern; that's what makes this project so speedy. You can see how lopsided and uneven I cut out the body (see photo above). It looks funny now, but later when you sew it up it won't be so lopsided.

Then, choose a complimentary fabric for the bottom. I chose a flannel to make one side nice and soft. Do this by laying the top onto the fabric and cut around it. Put the right sides together, facing in, and sew it up using a 1/4" seam. Make sure to leave about a 2.5 - 3.5" opening at the top to place the head and tummy inside.

Turn the body right side out and stuff the hands and feet. You can then pin each hand and foot by folding the back onto the front. This will help keep it in place, make the body more even, as well as add visual appeal.

Sew up each of the hands and feet.

Instead of using a zigzag stitch, I used a wavy one to add interest. However, because it's not as stable as zigzag, I sewed two lines to make it more secure.

Now it's time to make the hat! Cut out a large, rounded triangle. Mine was approximately 9.5" long and 9.5" wide at the base. Just eyeball the hat based on the size of the doll's head.

Sew up the side after folding it (right side together, facing inside). Turn it right side out, then fold the bottom of the hat inwards, about 1/2" or so, and sew the brim up using the same stitch you used for the hands and feet. Since there was no stuffing involved, only one seam is needed.

You can knot the top of the hat, if you like that look more.

Or keep the hat tall and pointy leaving more fabric to cuddle with.

Next, you will stuff the tummy. This part is optional, though I think it gives a nice squish to the doll for the baby to squeeze.

Then, sew up the bottom. This part will be hidden, so you can do it by machine with the zigzag stitch to make it more secure.

Place the head and tummy inside the body and sew around the head. Make sure to really stuff the head down in so there's hardly any neck. This will ensure less floppy-headedness for when the doll is being flung into the air at the protest of an oncoming nap!

Depending upon how thick the head is, you will have to hand stitch it in, machine sewing to the left and right of it.

Homestretch now. Attach the hat with pins and sew it on.

Last, embroider the face as desired. I used embroidery floss for this as well. I attempted to make a half-yawn, half-smiling mouth. It most definitely looks hand done.

Snuggle up with the doll while nursing to cover it with your loving and nurturing scent. Finally, give to your little one only at nap and bedtime. This will ensure that the sleep association is made with the object. Hope you and your little ones enjoy!

*Note: all measurements provided are for a finished blanket doll that is approximately 9" wide at the arms by 21" long from the top of the hat to the tip of the toes.

Quotable Sunday

2009-08-02T10:32:00.000-07:00

Listen carefully to your inner guidance and enter into the realm of true wisdom.

Dr. Christiane Northrup

The reason I chose a photo of Bronwyn pottying is because a lot of elimination communication (EC) is using a parent's inner guidance to know when and how to potty their infant. For my husband, this comes in the form of phantom pees, for me, it occurs in multiple ways, including timing, attachment and intuition. I am so blessed to have EC in our lives so that we can take care of our five month old's needs more fully.

***

This is the beginning of Quotable Sundays. I'm excited to be participating in are so happy's weekly inspiration.

Quotes can be like mantras....sometimes all it takes is a few words to make huge shifts in people's lives.

Spiritual Inspiration

2009-07-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

I know many of you who read my posts crave more spiritual direction, guidance, inspiration, or what-have-you, in your lives. Some of us have been blessed to receive a gentle nudge in this direction.

For me, my guidance came in the form of a lovely lady named Renata. She was truly the light that the divine sent me to assist in discovering/uncovering my spirituality. Renata has a special gift of awakening a loveliness in all around her.

Her latest post, Web of Light Meditation, many of you would benefit from. Check it out.

Also, let me know if there are other spiritual blogs, books, poems, or sources of inspiration you would recommend.

Love and light to all.

Big Moves for Little B

2009-07-27T16:37:00.000-07:00

Bronwyn has never taken a bottle, but any liquid that goes to the mouth she is HIGHLY interested in (also see last photo from this post). In fact, this weekend she threw a baby-size fit that I wouldn't share my wine with her. Sorry, B, red wine is for the mamas and papas.

About a week ago, little B decided it was time for some real movement: she went from her back to her tummy. It was done in slow motion and was highly motivated by a bottle full of breast milk (not mine).

Anyway, this video is the second day of her doing her older baby movements. She is also playing with her image more intensely than she has before. It was like watching WWF baby-smack-play-down.

Sweet Potato

2009-07-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

With Little B's couch potato days behind her, we moved to the sweet type of potato. Monday brought Bronwyn's first time in the high chair and eating 'solid' food.

She took to both rather well, as evidenced by the epicurean mess on her mouth (uh, and her shirt, her hands, her arms, the highchair, the tray, the floor, and mama and dada...).

Wow! Breastfeeding seems so much simpler we might forgo solid food all together.

Pickle also spent some time in her high chair to watch mama make Sweet Potato Muffins. I recommend the recipe for both savory and sweet muffins. I cooked the potatoes beforehand, not realizing that the recipe meant for them to be raw. I also substituted half the canola oil with coconut oil. Next time I will definitely try raw shredded potato and add more raisins, maybe even rum-soaked raisins.

They turned out so moist and yummy. I noticed that a few reviewers were pleased that it got their kids to eat sweet potatoes. I guess they've never tried the marshmallow thanksgiving dish. That is the best way I've gotten my big boy (a.k.a. my husband) to eat sweet potatoes.

Couch Potato

2009-07-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

In preparation to give Bronwyn her first real meal (sweet potato), I learned how to sign potato. I've decided to skip the rice cereal mostly because I don't think it's really that nutritious. If I were a babe I would want fruits and vegetables. NOW. That's what little B's message seems to be telling me. That girl is ready to eat.

I also had a worse-than-your-average-terrible-cold cold which prompted Bronwyn's first experience at being.....you guessed it: a couch potato and watching that box called the television.

Actually, she watched exactly 17 minutes of video this weekend (which equalled about 17 hours of guilt for me). Five minutes of Caillou the Magnificent before she protested and told me to shut it off. Then the next day she watched twelve minutes of Word World. I swear at some point I heard her say, "Woman, where's my brewski?"

Being a single mom (for the weekend) sucked, more for me then Bronwyn. She got lots of floor time allowing her attempts to crawl. She can move side to side and backwards with no problem. The forward thing she's smart enough to avoid: she just brings the blanket with the toy on it closer to her.

Damn. Now, not only do I have to be smarter than my herding dog, but also my daughter.

Well, perhaps if I start sucking frozen kale sticks (for teething) like B, I will grow big and strong too.

Meanwhile, here's to learning from your dog and your babe, killing your TV....and maybe not to feeling terribly guilty if you watch a few minutes of it before doing so.

***

This post is dedicated to Katie and Kristine; two kick ass mamas who helped ease my guilt about B's first TV time as well as offering to expose themselves to my cooties to help out. You rock!

***

Update: I learned that just chewing on kale stems can give a baby gas. I wouldn't have believed it, if I didn't experience it first hand. Try small, frozen carrots instead. They work just as well.

Happy Birthing Day, Mom!

2009-07-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

Today is the day I was born back in 1978. Thirty-one years ago my mom gave birth to her last child - her fourth child - at the very young age of twenty-two. My mother was single at the time, my father having left her and my siblings when I was about three months old inside her. I can't really get a grasp of what that would have been like. Just getting past the part about her having four kids, after having only one of my own, is hard enough. But to have four in my early twenties as a single mom! I am not worthy, Mom.

Fortunately, my mother was very close to her parents, and they gave her a lot of support. Her mother was one of the most dear persons to me in the world. Which is why I'm so elated that Bronwyn has her Grandma Jo in her life now. The friendship between a grandkid and grandparents is invaluable. I learned so much from my grandma Thelma, especially how to love someone unreservedly.

So, to celebrate the day my mother gave birth to me I woke up next to my baby girl and lovely husband - all smiles despite the fact the little B was up about eight times last night (teething time??).

We then met up with some dear friends, Renata and Ruben for coffee at Centro Espresso. They introduced us to this little hidden gem that serves damn good espresso.

My love and I shared a caramel cappuccino; think a latte with just a slight caramel taste, barely sweet.

We brought a piece of Coconut Layer Cake for them to indulge in. This cake is definitely the best coconut cake I've ever had and was made by my very dear friend, Rachel.....mistress of many things in the kitchen, garden and library.

Later in the day, to beat the 95+ degree weather, we went to the Russian River in Healdsburg. Bronwyn got her first dip in a large body of water and handled it with much grace. It was very cold water, resulting in many quick inhalations but not tears. We were happy to see our water baby at home once again in the water (she hasn't been loving her baths very much at all).

It's weird that my birthday this year made me a bit melancholic. I was excited to turn thirty but somehow thirty-one isn't as exciting, despite my many accomplishments last year (new house, new husband, new baby created, and new business). I'm still so young. Hey, I don't even have my first strand of gray hair to marvel at yet.

Anyhow, this is my brief love letter to my mom, to say having you back in my life is one of the best birthday presents ever. Thank you for birthing me. Thank you to the divine in you, and the universe, for giving me life.

Little B is also one of the best birthday presents ever. As well as her dada, who gave me a wonderful camera to show them both off with!

Life in Fast Motion

2009-07-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

So the past few days my life feels like it went into fast motion. I'm sure it's partially because I've been out of town at Greg's boat races. It means catching up with not only daily tasks, but also taking the bigger stuff in.

The bigger stuff this time being:

1) Bronwyn has matured very quickly the last few days. I swear the divine downloaded some information into her overnight which gave her an even wiser look and intensity in her eyes. Her expression changed from smart cookie to really f$%kng smart cookie. That same day she signed mama AND papa. Greg and I almost jumped out of our socks.

Our little five month old signed potty again (after not doing it for a month plus) and then patted her diaper to let me know it was time for a change. I actually got scared at what else she could be paying attention to (can we say I have the worst potty mouth of almost anyone else I know). Time to wash my mouth out with soap.

2) Yesterday I received a package from my mother. Six months after sending that letter I didn't think I would hear from her. But here arrives this package full of: 3 of my childhood dolls, one baby blanket made by my grandma, my first book - Whose House is This?, two beautiful outfits for Bronwyn and the sweetest letter ever. My heart swelled and I instantly knew I had to call her that night.

3) Talking to my mother after not hearing her voice for eight years...where do I begin? It was like we took up an old conversation we left off years ago. Yet here we are building our relationship back up from the pieces it fell to. A lot of synapses were firing during the call. I really had a sense that it was the right time and also how much we have missed by not having each other in our lives.

Why such speed? It's not just from watching Greg go fast on the water and doing great things for my new mama anxiety. I've been doing trade sessions with other BodyTalk practitioners, so that's probably why life has sped up for me. There's nothing like energy work to stir stuff up...big shifts can happen dramatically (though not always quickly; as Caroline Myss points out in her Defy Gravity workshop YOU have to put the work into it). It's like when I first started learning BodyTalk and was getting all this work done on me during classes. My life changed overnight. It all started prior to that with energetic and emotional guidance from my dear, dear friends Renata and Ruben who helped initiate and guide this shift.

What are you ready to have shifted in your life? Check our your local energetic or BodyTalk practitioner or I can refer you to Ruben (he does distance sessions and he's quite excellent and exact).

Dear Michael Jackson,

2009-06-25T20:06:00.000-07:00

Today you died at the young age of 50. My first thoughts were: not Michael, he's untouchable....god, I'm old.....followed by nothing but tears.

While I'm sure some of those tears were postpartum hormones getting the best of me. Some of those tears were real. They were for you.

I am sad that you are no longer on this earth as dear MJ. You were the embodiment of all things wonderfully eighties. Of my troubled childhood during good moments. Of everything so badass that no one could stand it.

You were so beautiful. But then, we corrupted you. Our insatiable desire to know everything about you, to just literally have a piece of you, ripped you and your boy heart to pieces. You didn't really know how to pick those pieces up and put them back together coherently. So, you just pieced yourself together the best you could, while we all watched, with our magnifying glass, aghast at your transformations.

Michael, I'm sure that you are in a better place right now, but you are also dearly missed.

I don't know what you've done artistically in the last ten years. But what you did before that, I will never forget. Neither will the world. Because, We are The World.

You are a beautiful shining star. So bright, so light, so forever.

I love you Michael Jackson.

May you find the peace you never had.

Luscious Apricot Tastes Upon a New Tongue

2009-06-16T15:09:00.001-07:00

So, little B has been super interested in what we're putting into our mouths as of late. I talk to her about what is on our plates and in our glass, how it tastes, why we eat it, etc.

Her first flavor outside of breast milk was when her nana put a taste of frozen yogurt on her lips a couple months ago. I was definitely nonplussed but was trying to not be uptight about it either, reminding myself that it was put there out of love and that's all. It happened and so we move on.

Her first real taste of something came this past week when I decided to put some apricot up to her nose to smell. She was very interested in it, so I put it near her mouth. Just like a puppy, bring it to the mouth first, ask questions later (umm, if at all). So, that's what B did and here's the result.

In the end she probably got 1/4 tsp worth of apricot in her mouth. A few minutes later I pottied her and it came out with the spit up (as with many babies, B spits up when she needs to pee, or is actively peeing).

It was beautiful to watch the reactions on her face. I admit to being surprised that she took to it so well. I thought she would poo-poo anything other than my liquid gold. I hope this is a foreshadow of her upcoming foray into food.

As for more play with food, yesterday I had a complete mommy brain moment and gave her a gluten-free cracker. At the time I thought it was a great idea. It wasn't plastic; it was an uberhealthy Mary's Gone Crackers cracker (made out of brown rice, quinoa, flax, etc.). A few minutes into our fun the cracker broke. A split second later I had a realization. Oh yea, crackers break into smaller pieces. Pieces that can easily be lodged into the throat. So, of course, seconds after I was data processing all of this, B starts coughing. Super (dumb) Mommy swoops into her mouth to get out the broken bits.

(Notice the aftermath of the apricot stickiness)

Deep breath. This will only be the first of many (very stupid) things I will do. Better start learning to forgive myself now.

What to Expect When You're (No Longer) Expecting

2009-06-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

"That's my hair in your hand. Can I have it back please, Bronwyn?" I've found myself asking this a lot in the past couple of months.

So, after I wrote my last post I realized that I should clarify further why I wrote it. I certainly didn't mean for it to be a "what to expect when you're (no longer) expecting." I know many a woman who would like to burn that book and I would probably be in line along with them, at least somewhere in the middle of the line. My intent was simply to normalize what your experience might be, not to put your expectations into a box and say this is what's coming your way!

A few other surprises I had were:

Postpartum Hair Loss. Your hair might start falling out long after your hormones change. I thought I was not going to experience hair loss afterwards since I didn't really have any noticeable change in the thickness of my hair during pregnancy. However, about three months postpartum my hair started falling out like crazy. Now, every time I brush, wash, or even look at my hair, a clump of hair stares back at me from the floor, my hand, or pillow. Gross! I've never minded the occasional hair strand found other than on my head, but this actually makes me want to shave my hair off.

Postpartum Wrist. It's actually called Mother's Wrist. I had never heard of wrist issues after birth, just susceptibility to carpel tunnel during pregnancy. I guess all the weight that's constantly being carried by your wrists can take it's toll. Even with baby wearing, it didn't seem to ease the pain that much. One friend of mine had her wrists actually give out on her from time to time so she would have to be careful when the pain flared so as to not drop her little bambino!

Postpartum Falling. What I mean is falling head over heels in love with my baby. I knew motherhood would be great. Awesome even. But I never expected to fall so dramatically, deeply and utterly in love with my baby. Nothing can prepare one for the magical experience of the love of their child. Enough said!

The Post-Partum Body: What Other Moms might Not Mention

2009-06-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

So, I'm here to tell you a couple of things about postpartum living that may, or very well may not, be your experience. As with any beliefs, you create your own world based on what you incorporate or discard. After all, if I had believed all those horrible birthing experiences everyone tried to fill my ear with, I wouldn't have had such a magical birth. So, here's to not believing a single thing below will happen to you!

Sex hurts. Okay, call me naive, or maybe even just stupid. But, I had no inkling that sex would hurt after birth. Perhaps because my birthing experience was so gentle that I was lulled into a sense of false security. My husband and I waited 3 whole months (yes, THREE, count them, one, two, three) before we (attempted to) make love. It lasted for less than two minutes before I shrieked and said, f%$! no. Not for me. Not yet. One month later, I'm still scared to try.

It's a bird! It's a plane! Jet rockets? No, that's your butt talking. That's right, you might have a lot of gas. I don't mean just a few days afterwards, I mean months. I feel right at home next to my husband now and feel like I can out compete with him in the gas game anytime. For a while I thought this digestive delight was due to my constant diet shifts (see post about Bronwyn's food allergy). After talking to a few women in my momma's group I have found that I'm not alone. Hallelujah for this one! I'm not the only one with intestines that are still trying to remember the good old days when everything just felt right.

Ummm, you might not recognize your lovely female parts. Okay, now that I remember how I looked in my nether regions after I gave birth, I guess I am stupid for not realizing sex might at least hurt a little. After birthing the placenta and going to the bed to be examined, I told my midwife I didn't think I had torn at all. I did need some stitches (6-7?), and my midwife graciously gave me a mirror to look at my vulva and vagina. WOW! I was shocked, and nearly speechless at how I actually looked down there. I can swell that big and get that purple color and not feel like I was going to pop or jump out of my skin?!? Endorphins, you're number one in my book of heroes.

Breastfeeding can HURT. I would go through 30 days of labor if I could trade the first 30++ days of breastfeeding. As much as I love nurturing my little one this way, it has been, bar none, one of the most painful aspects of having a child. I know that I didn't have the best support around breastfeeding, and that can really make a difference. I had never actually directly observed anyone breastfeeding, so it was completely new. I also got mastitis 7 days after labor followed by thrush shortly thereafter.

I'm here to tell you that if your nipples/breasts hurt four months later, like I do, there is something WRONG. Seek help. I thought that my nipples were just extra sensitive, like my skin. Today I learned what is wrong...that white spot on my nipple is not a callous that keeps coming back to haunt me. While I did go to two breastfeeding clinics, no one ever mentioned that a white dot on your nipple means you have a plugged duct (red skin on the breast is also a symptom of a plugged duct, which I had experienced several times). I wondered why the white dot would keep getting puss-filled and I would have to drain it with a sterilized needle. Picking at a sore nipple with a needle is not exactly a highlight of motherhood. Now I know. Pick at the white spot before it gets infected and then breastfeed or pump like mad afterwards.

***

With all this said, I just take one look at Bronwyn and feel like I'd go through this all a million times over just to see her smile and coo.

Pickle, you are the most precious being I've ever known. Thank you for being born, thank you for choosing me as your guardian, thank you for being so patient while I learn all about you. Thank you for just being you all the time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Aware Connection - Elimination Communication

2009-06-07T14:33:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been over a month since my last post! This delay is definitely not due to lack of material. As any new mother can attest, there is plenty of fodder to write about... the oohs, awws, "this wasn't in the baby book" and "did she really just do that?".

Bronwyn is now four months old and I have so much I want to share that I've forced myself to choose to go with one topic, and that is....elimination communication. Also known as EC, infant potty training (IPT) or a diaper free baby.

We started practicing this when Bronwyn was two weeks old. Our plan was to wait for a bit until we got onto more firm ground as new parents, but every time we changed her, she would pee. Well, if it's going to be this easy, I thought, why not just start now? So, we did.

I feel very lucky to have been introduced to this by my friend Ambra. I saw her put her baby Sonia on the potty and thought (to be totally honest), she was crazy. As with all narrow-mindedness I had to think it was crazy otherwise I must have been the crazy one, right? Because I was initially skeptical, I also give all my friends who to come to visit a free pass to make fun after they leave.

The most awesome aspect about practicing EC is that I know my baby that much more intimately and am able to meet her needs. As with many babies, Bronwyn does very clear communication with me when she has to go pee or poop. About two months ago I had her on the potty and thought she was done. I started to lift her off, much to her complaints of, "uh, uh, uh, uh." I then put her back on and she finished going poop.

Along with getting fussy when there's no other explanation, the other most obvious sign is when Bronwyn goes on and off my breast several times during breast feeding. About two weeks ago she did this and proceeded to sign "potty" to me. I never would have believed my eyes if my husband hadn't been a witness and affirmed what I saw as well.

Bronwyn has gone pee outside at many venues, including at the beach and in the Golden Gate Park (watering some redwoods), and over adult-sized potties at several restaurants, stores, and friends' homes. At first I was shy to potty her outside the house, but once I did it, I felt that I was ridiculous for caring in the first place. I mean, would I not breastfeed her if she was hungry? It's also been reaffirming to belong to a mom's group where at least half the women do EC as well.

Another highlight about EC is that I don't have to clean poop all over her back, legs and bum. I truly believe that reactions that parents have when they're doing this leads to issues that children have about themselves and their bodily functions (can we say constipation...). Besides, with everything changing all the time with her body, celebrating herself and her body's natural functions is exactly what she needs right now. Yahoo for pooh!

If you interested in learning more, I highly recommend the DiaperFreeBaby site as well as Chrisine Gross-Loh's book, The Diaper Free Baby.

Almond Coconut Rice Pudding (vegan)

2009-04-20T13:02:00.000-07:00

So, I am on my third attempt to figure out what Ms. Bronwyn is allergic to. The first time, I was on a highly modified diet for 4 weeks, and the green poop/red butt never got better. I then tried it again for a week, not eating any dairy or wheat, and stopped because her symptoms got worse. I've now been off wheat and gluten for a week and a half. Still, nothing is getting better. A couple times I got excited since her butt wasn't red, but then it would come back. Just yesterday she had a fairly red-free butt, and then the green stools increased throughout the day. And today the red bum arrives.

Despite Bronwyn's obviously well-nourished body, this process has been very disheartening, particularly to see her red bum. If you have any ideas or know of any mom who has gone through this, please, please, please forward me their contact information.

On the up side, the changes in my diet have gotten me to be awfully creative with my cooking. I whipped up some rice pudding that is heavenly, and thought I would share.

Almond Coconut Rice Pudding

3/4 C rice (I like jasmine)

1 1/1/2 C water (if you want more nutty or coconut flavor use almond or coconut milk)

1/4 tsp. salt

Let all ingredients above come to a boil, then simmer for 10-15 minutes, until all water is absorbed. Then add,

2 C almond milk

2 C coconut milk (I used 1 C full fat, 1 C low fat)

1/3 to 1/2 C sugar

1/2 to 1 C finely shredded coconut

Cook over medium-low heat until thicker, but still soupy (about 30 minutes).

Let cool for about 5-10 minutes then add 1 tsp. vanilla

Eat warm for maximum flavor enjoyment.

Putting Aside the Looking Glass

2009-04-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

Many believe that when one falls in love, they are actually falling in love with themselves. Thus, the gestures, behaviors, habits, etc. that you find so charming about your loved one, are ones that most closely resemble your own, or what you want to be, have or do. Never have I found this to be more true than when one falls in love with a newborn.

The first thing that admirers (especially older women) look for in my baby girl is what traits most resemble her father, her mother - or if they're related - themselves. Depending on who is doing the observing, Bronwyn has my feet, my eyes, my profile, her father's eyebrows, his hair, his expressions, and her grandmother's hands. Funny, I thought she had her own.

No really. When I look at my newborn I see a creature who is uniquely herself. She has the most delightful smile, that I'm sure could melt any iceberg and speed up global warming even more. The sounds she makes are nothing short of a master composer, creating each note as though she were on stage conducting the universe to expand in a series of beautiful and delicate movements.

Her physical features might resemble something in me, her father, or beyond, or not. After all, She has my DNA, her father's DNA and her ancestor's DNA. But for right now, I am more than happy to put aside the looking glass, and observe how life itself unfolds on its own. With ample love, gentle encouragement, and nurturing from the sidelines.

The Case of The Mysterious Green Poop

2009-03-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh, big yawn!

It has been almost two months since I last posted. What in the world happened? Well, I've become a mother!

Reflecting on the last seven weeks, a lot of that time has been focused on poop. That's right poop. I don't say this because I've had to change a zillion diapers, which I have.

What I mean is that my little baby girl has had mysterious green poop. Little did I know what life can be reduced to when you have a newborn who is extremely uncomfortable and can at times be unconsoled. Poop it is! I hit the books, so to speak, and tried to find out what was happening in that tiny body.

In brief, the story goes like this. Woman gives birth to baby girl (subject of a later, and much longer post). First week is heaven. Bliss. Sublime. Actually, those words fall very short of what amazingness was experienced during and after birth. Next four weeks are, well...how do I describe this...spend some time in hell and that might sum it up.

Not to say that I wasn't still having those terrific, amazing feelings. I was. I was also quite despondent that my little one had what classified as colic, which very roughly translates to a crying baby that cannot be consoled for hours on end. In hand with colic, was the passing of over 15 stools of green, mucousy, or bright green stool every day. For those who are unschooled, this is a lot of poop even by baby standards.

During my time in hell, I jokingly said I was ready to throw the baby out the window. (That was the darkest joke I could think of to make me feel better...really, I never actually felt that way.) I was prepared to do ANYTHING to help my little one feel better. Turns out, it was energetic medicine (BodyTalk) and cranio-sacral therapy that brought us out of the dark side. I truly can't say enough to parents with even moderately fussy babies. This saved my new family's sanity more than anything else. It was like we went back to that first week of sublime, falling head over heels in love with the most beautiful creature ever to exist on this earth.

Now that I'm back in the babymoon phase, I can say those four weeks were brief (thank god) and probably a rite of passage into motherhood. Before I knew it, my baby was smiling, cooing, gurgling and just being a hollywood babe. The babymoon phase is in full force. When else could someone breath out a booger on your breast and you find it charming and adorable? Why else would you go from being a true and complete foodie to eating only six things (okay, eight including salt and pepper) and still function in the world?

Also, fortunately, the last few weeks have been filled with the typical breast-fed-mustard-yellow-white-curd-poop, with an occasional green surprise. Nope. No details spared here.

***

Funny, I thought I was 'human' again after those weeks passed. After rereading this I'm quite sure I might actually never be quite 'human' again. It's okay because I am so in love with a beautiful creature blessed to us.

Midwifery Care Kicks Ass

2009-02-03T19:26:00.000-08:00

I'm not one to brag, but when it comes to the prenatal care I've received, you probably can't get me to shut up.

Constance Miles is our midwife and she is awesome. Her care has been tremendous; hour and a half long appointments are not abnormal. Oftentimes they are filled with talk not only about my and my baby's health but also about dreams, emotions, how my husband is fairing, etc.

We sit and sip tea and have been sent home with extra garden delights, including flowers for my husband's birthday. Prenatal care shouldn't be any less, but hearing others' experiences, including how tests and measurements are done without an explanation of their reason (let alone their outcome) are unfortunately common. Thirty minute appointments, if that, seem to be more the norm. How can you possibly care for a woman, her child and partner in that amount of time? I can't answer. What I can say, is when it comes to you and your baby's health, seek nothing but the best, whatever that may be for you.

Since I have no baby photos to show you (the stubborn thing still hasn't made it's way into the world yet...despite being in my 42nd week), I'll share what I can of the little-bean-unseen. These photos were taken about two weeks ago.

Now, where is that little creature...I'm starting to think there might be an alien inside me who prefers a parasitic life.

Even my sexy husband can't distract me enough from my hiding babe!

Seven and a Half Years of Loud Silence

2009-01-29T08:33:00.001-08:00

So, yesterday I finally did it. I 'talked' with my mom. It was a one-way conversation, with me writing and posting a card, expressing myself as clearly as possible.

The need to contact her has been brewing for quite some time, and has peaked during my pregnancy with a whole new set of questions entering my realm.

I had been vacillating this past month about just picking up the phone and calling her, yet I never willed myself to do it, for fear of having anything negative come up at a such a sensitive point in my life right now.

With my due date coming and going, going, going, I started to wonder if I was holding on to anything. I welcome this baby with open arms, so why is she/he not arriving?

Yesterday I decided to pull an angel card and let them speak. 'Family' was the card. This card had many meanings, one was a new addition to the family, and another was 'It's time to face old feelings so they can be released and cleared' and 'the first person that comes to mind is the person'....As some of you know, I've worked on forgiving my mom this past year quite steadily. It hasn't been an easy journey. Often I would have one memory that would come up and my anger would arrive like wild fire.

My quest with BodyTalk has helped me to learn that forgiveness is really forgiving yourself more than any one. Carolyn Myss' book, Anatomy of the Spirit, was another very useful guide and companion in my quest. I finally integrated what forgiveness really is, enough to understand that I do forgive my mother, fully and completely.

So, emotions poured yesterday and the procrastinated deed has been done. I feel very clear and still.

Hopefully this will inspire someone else out there to face a difficult situation they are having in their lives with honesty, openness, and love. Nothing is impossible, no matter how dark, ugly and awful it may seem.

Light enters, at some point, always.

Blossoming and Growth

2009-01-13T08:44:00.001-08:00

With Baby G's birthing day quickly approaching, the element of wood is very much on mind. In Chinese medicine, the element of wood is one of 5 elements and represents, among other things, birth and growth.

Baby G has been blessed with a talented papa who did an amazing job of painting a beautiful tree in his/her room.

Greg sketched a tree with pencil and then taped it out, followed by painting the trunk and branches. We then worked together and painted white blossoms all over.

I love spring and cherry blossoms are without a doubt the essence of spring at it's most abundant. I believe no one has captured the beauty of cherry blossom trees better than Akira Kurosawa in his film, Dreams. A must see if you haven't already indulged in it's luscious cinematography.

I completed the piece by filling in the blossoms with silver filaments and orange stamens. The green butterfly was a little addition that I think gave the piece a nice balance.

Now, Baby G will be surrounded with beauty and love whenever he/she is in the room.

Hats off to 2009!

2009-01-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

I'm excited about all the wonderful things in store for me this year. There are a lot of surprises awaiting, including birthing a child and becoming a mother.

Part of my journey towards this is getting a lot of crafts done beforehand since it won't be as much of a priority as soon as the little one comes.

I've been doing some knitting on the side, and happened to have completed three hats recently. The first is one of my favorite hats I make for babies, a little strawberry head. This one is for my baby - boy or girl.

The second, I made for a friend's baby boy, called the umbilical hat. This is definitely my second-favorite hat to make for a baby.

The final hat I made for my friend's birthday. It started out different than I planned it, having to use two different yarns. Many times in art, serendipitous events occur, and this was one of them; the hat will suit her better with the orange accents.

The interesting story about this hat was that I couldn't mail her present to her, well, legally anyway. I went to the post office to ship it and was asked what was in the package, innocently, I said "A hat. A hand sewn hat." The postal worker said he wasn't sure it was allowed. I laughed and smiled at him, until I realized, this dude was serious.

He then showed me the screen of forbidden items imported to Italy while reading it, "Haberdashery and sewn articles of any kind, including trimmings and lace; handkerchiefs; scarves; shawls, needlework including stockings and gloves; bonnets, caps, and hats of any kind," he read quite pointedly. Oh boy, perfect. A belated birthday present that will be seriously belated if I have to wait to see her. Unbelievable!

In the end, I sent it to her at another post office and lied on the customs form, crossing my fingers to make sure it makes it her way. To see what other nonsense Italy doesn't allow, click here. The list is quite odd.

Pray this makes it to you, Ambra!

A Year and a Day

2009-01-05T19:53:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much the satisfaction of a project doesn't always correspond to the time invested in it. I experienced this keenly last year when I finished two projects days apart from each other.

The first - a hand embroidered stocking - I completed just before Christmas and had started over a year ago. Little did I know how long it would take when my husband selected it online to make for him...the first trivial experience that made me wish I had a time machine.

Okay, I admit, it wouldn't have taken a year had I worked on it with more consistency. However, if you consider that the sleigh alone took 12+ hours (not including what is in it), it might give you an idea of how much time it really did take. So many hours I care not to calculate.

I am so glad to be finished with that project and will definitely never hand sew a stocking again. I promise! While I am satisfied with how it turned out, I'm mostly satisfied to be done with it.

The other project was a necklace I made for my mother-in-law for Christmas. It took less than a day to select the beads and to design and assemble it. It turned out so beautiful that I wanted to keep it and show off the beautiful smoky quartz myself.

One doesn't appreciate the stocking more - despite the excessive time involved - or the necklace less. Both projects are beautiful in their own way, the latter simply allowed for many other beauties to be born. So, here's to more necklace projects in the year ahead, for us all!

Please, Say Hello to My Belly

2008-12-21T17:05:00.000-08:00

As much as I have enjoyed being pregnant, I will never be someone who says, 'I wouldn't even know I was pregnant if I didn't have this big belly.' Nor would I want to. One reason is the many, very real, and sometimes surprising, physical changes that have been taking place in my body over the last 35 weeks. Just a month ago my husband witnessed me trying to stand up from the couch to go pee then breaking out in hysteric laughter, filled with streaming tears, since I couldn't move my legs without a very loud pain shooting down my leg. He then assisted my seemingly never-ending, 25 foot maneuver to the bathroom. (Thankfully, the sciatic pain I've had is fleeting.)

Mostly, though, I would never want to say that because I've wanted to be very conscious of the life - my baby - growing inside me. I was thinking the other day how I've heard women comment on how bold strangers have been with touching their tummy. I've never had a stranger attempt to touch my tummy. Several acquaintances and close friends yes, but strangers, no. (I've certainly been bombarded by the commentary and questions from strangers about my size, and anything they would like to add about pregnancy, my body, or babies in general.)

I am in my 9th month, and my tummy has been ripe for touching for a while now. So, what gives, I wonder? When it comes down to it, I wish that more people would touch my tummy. I am actually surprised at how few people acknowledge the baby when they greet me. Even people who are knowledgeable of how much babies are aware of in the womb have refrained. Could it be they are too shy?

One of my baby's best friends is my BodyTalk Practitioner, Kate. Kate has always greeted the baby with glee and intimately every time I see her for a session. The baby has responded in kind (by either a smile, or large or small movement to acknowledge her back). He/she loves our visits to Kate. The fact that I'm aware of this speaks to how connected you can be to your baby prenatally, and they to you.

Credible research shows that, the fact is, babies are conscious beings well before they leave their little water world. They know - energetically, emotionally and physically - what is going beyond their life in in the uterus.

So, the next time you see a friend who is pregnant, remember to greet her baby as well. You will likely hear the baby say hello back. That is, if you're listening.

A Poem for Baby G

2008-12-15T17:44:00.000-08:00

So, yesterday I had my first shower for little Baby G. My friend Rachel helped put it on for my husband, Greg, and I. We decided to make it a combination blessing/shower. Even though I was a bit tentative about having a large group for an intimate blessing, it turned out very well.

First, we ate some spectacular food, cooked by Rachel, and drank mimosas, then we had the blessing. It consisted of people reading poems, sayings, and thoughts that they had either written or were inspired by. I had people transfer them to muslin so that I could sew up prayer flags. (With so many, I'm thinking of a different project I could do with them to give to the baby when he/she is older. Ideas?)

In any case, it was a group of just under 20 and everyone appeared comfortable with the blessing, including little 22 month old Melly who was nursing and humming along, doing her own blessing of sorts.

Since I haven't been inspired to write a poem in a long time and it came so organically, I wanted to share what I wrote for little Baby G.

***

Gifts for Your Birth Day

You are a product of a joyful and loving nature.

Your father and I conceived you with our love
and everyday we fall deeper in love with each other.

This is our first gift to you, Baby, our presence to each other.

The divine has sent us caregivers who will honor and rever your passage.

A spiritual and talented midwife and assistant

who will allow you to choose when and how you want to be born.

This is our second gift to you, Baby, Constance and O'Nell's presence to the birth of our family.

On the day of your tender passage - from water to air - womb to world -

I choose to be fully aware and lucid to every stirring,

every movement and need that you will have during your transition.

This is our third gift to you, Baby, your mother's full and complete bodymind presence.

On that glorious day - your birth day - we will be there

to honor and greet the divine in you.

We will welcome and cherish you.

This is your gift to us, Baby, your beautiful, wonderous, and magical presence.
Our precious baby, we are so in love with you.

***

Update: I ended up sewing together these prayer flags and hanging it up in Little B's room....the room where she was born. I'm sure these prayers helped me to have the birthing experience I desired.

What's In a Box?

2008-11-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

"This is Better Than Sex Cake," Mama Fran pointedly said after opening the fridge and setting down a whipped creamy rectangle of goodness. Greg's grandma has a way of dead pan frankness that can catch one offguard, that is, if they're not used to seeing sweet looking ladies tell like it is sometimes.

The second time I met Mama Fran she went from one topic to the next, inserting a conversation about pandas being shown porn to stimulate copulation, like she was discussing yesterday's weather. This is of course why I was instantly won over by her. A sweet little lady who isn't afraid to share her thoughts! Can't get enough.

It makes one pause, at least it did me. No sense in trying to assume how a sweet looking lady is going to act. She doesn't have to look rough around the edges to be able to let loose.

Back to the cake. It truly was quite delicious. Not, better than sex. Well, then again, I guess that depends upon your history.

So, for those of you who want to try it out, here you go:

Better Than Sex Cake

1 yellow box cake (plus whatever the ingredients are on the back of the box)

1 20 oz. can crushed pineapple

1 C sugar (or less depending upon your sweet tooth)
1 small instant package of vanilla pudding + milk (for the pudding)

1 1/2 C heavy whipping cream
1/2 C sugar

1-2 C shredded coconut

1. Bake the cake per the directions on the box. If you have something a little larger than a 9 1/2" by 13" pan, use that. Otherwise, your end product will be over the top of the pan.

2. While the cake is baking, put the pineapple and 1 C sugar in a pot. Bring it to a boil.

3. Let the pineapple sugar mixture cool down. Poke holes in the top of the cake with a fork. Spread pineapple mixture on top of the cake.

4. Make the vanilla pudding and spread on cake before it sets. Refrigerate until set.

5. Make thick whipping cream by mixing the sugar and cream with a blender until it's sufficiently thick. Spread the whipping cream on top of the pudding and put the cake back in fridge to set.

6. Sprinkle liberally with shredded coconut.

7. Enjoy! Before...during...or after!

On the Title and Birth of a Blog

2008-11-07T07:14:00.000-08:00

So, I've finally decided to listen to little conversations I've been having with myself and create a blog. First, I have to admit (so that you know I'm right there with you), I know I am crazy for doing this. For those of you who don't know, I really dislike being on the computer, specifically having to type or stare at a screen for any length of time. A large part of this dislike is due to an injury that has been teaching me many lessons (which will be the subject of later posts). So, I know most of you will probably be equally surprised given my lack of email contact in the past year, or more, for which I am genuinely sad about.

What drove me to face my contradiction? First, I've realized through reading my very close friends' blogs, Ambra and Heather (see sites I love), that I've been able to stay updated with their growth and evolution in a more holistic way than a phone call or letter. I've seen Ambra's beautiful creation, Sonia, develop from a baby to a little girl; I've loved seeing Sonia's personality blossom as though she was right before me even though she is thousands of miles away. I have seen Heather's art/being evolve in ways I would never 'see' in my mind just from hearing about them. I have treasured and savored each little post as though it was written just for my daily consumption. What's more, so can everyone else in their lives who reads their blog, on a regular basis or not. So, here I am at reason number 1: one 'email' aka 'blog post' equals many updates equals less typing and computer time equals Sedna-happy.

Second, here I am at a very fantastic time in my life, with growth happening left and right, thoughts stirring in my insomniac mind like never before, and life burgeoning - figuratively and literally - from my uterine arena. Reason number 2: second chakra creativity I surrender. I am ripe for the taking. I am yours, forever and always!

And now I arrive at reason number 3: not only do I want to communicate my thoughts about all this pregnant creativity I've experienced over the past few months, but also about spirituality, love, grace, forgiveness, art, friendship, family, animals, gardening, BodyTalk, and last, but never least, great food (did anyone mention pumpkin pancakes, kale, fruit loops, jalapeno poppers or 'better than sex cake'...my pregnant bodymind is open to any, and nearly all, suggestions!).

This morning while I was laying in bed (trying to practice hypnosis to get back to sleep before 5 am) I had one main thought come to me, 'Yes I Can' do a blog (Obama, thank you). Then the next thought quickly followed, what the hell was I going to call it? How can I possibly sum up art, love, babies, yes we did, spirituality, fruit loops, and then some? Then the answer came to me, like a message straight from one of my many angels...Gifts From the Divine.

For, essentially, that is what everything can be summed up by, at least from where I sit. I can happily say that this perspective has graced me in my life and that I have finally been open to hearing and receiving that grace as well. That's why I am here. Right now.

What are your favorite gifts from divinity?